I don't know which way to go. Any advice?

Posts Tagged ‘women

Oh, the Whismy

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Coinciding rather aptly with the release of Tim Burton’s version, I just read Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland  for school. The book is even more insane than Disney’s animated movie — the version that I grew up on — but awe-inspriring imagery aside, I found myself increasingly annoyed with Alice.  I’m sure it has much to do with my adult perspective — though I don’t remember thinking Alice was all that great when I as a child either, not in the way I related to Ariel of The Little Mermaid who actually had to make hard decisions* — but in reading, Alice struck me as pretty dim. Of course, Alice is a child, and she’s supposed to be naive and trusting and accepting and confused all at once, which is why I am so concerned that so many women seem to worship her. 

Alice is a child; if she weren’t a child, she’d be an idiot. So why oh why are grown women so enchanted by her?  The desire for fantasy, to be able to traipse, or at least dream so, through a wonderland where cats smile wildly and decks of card play croquet with flamingo mallets, I get. It’s the obsession with being the naive, whimsical, girl-woman, I can’t grasp. And I’m sick of it. I am tired of grown women being showcased and marketing themselves as lithe fairies with nothing to impart on the world but a sense of wonder and sweet giggles.

Take Garden State. In college this was one of my favorites — I actually own the DVD — but Natalie Portman’s character is just ridiculous. She’s just so darn interesting and crazy, but in a totally innocent way. Her flaws are so sickeningly sweet, she might as well be perfect. Except, you know, she’s not (if you count an unhealthy obsession with hamsters), which somehow makes her even more endearing. She never gets angry or irrational; she only gets sad and thoughtful. She collects tears in Dixie cups and perpetually lies, but for some reason, that’s cute, too. She’s just so damn adorable.

There is no grown woman that I know like this. Thank god.

Real women are complex. They live in the real world, which like Alice’s wonderland is filled with inexplicable characters and moments, yet unlike wonderland, the strangeness of real-life requires rational thought and a range of emotional responses, some of which are pretty ugly.  There are very few actual princesses. For the rest of us, it’s our imperfections that make us extraordinary, so can we stop pretending that they don’t exist now?

 Even Alice (whom Carroll based on the daughter of a neighbor with the same name) grew into an adult woman with adult problems.

*At six years old I cried my way through the end of that particular Disney movie because I was so disappointed that Ariel chose the Prince over her dad and her sea friends. Later, when I read the Hans Christian Andersen version, I felt secretly satisfied that she turned into sea foam.

Written by ditheringmiss

February 12, 2010 at 1:36 pm

Posted in Life

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No One’s Girl

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Not a girl’s girl and not a guy’s girl. What’s girl to do?

Disclaimer: I absolutely love my core group of girls. They are all wonderful in different ways, and I’m not sure who I would be without them. This post is in no way meant to devalue their significance in my life.


Some people are desperate to get a boyfriend; I’m desperate to make girl friends. The ones I have are all awesome, but I don’t have many.  This potential lady pal deficit has led me to become that girl; the one who’s always convinced that this time she’ll meet the right one. You think she’s making friendly conversation, when really she’s sizing up your potential.

Obviously a person doesn’t become desperate without a lack of opportunity; I just don’t encounter many new women. So last night when Mike’s friend came over with his new girlfriend, I thought, “Aha, this could be it.” And I took a shower and I put on a sweater so I’d look smart and didn’t put on make up so I didn’t look like I was trying too hard.

And then all my hopes came crashing down. She was nice, sure. But, that spark wasn’t there. There was no connection. She was small and from the upper echelon’s of the East Coast and flung her leg over her boyfriend’s when they were sitting on the couch, the last being an absolute dealbreaker. I do not stand for excessive public displays of affection, specifically on first introductions. Nope. Not okay.

It wasn’t meant to be. Yet again.

Is it me? It is, isn’t? That’s what you’re thinking: I’m too picky; I make snap judgments soley on first impressions; I don’t give them a chance. But, but, I can’t help it. I do try. I ask a lot of questions and smile a lot, and you know what, I end up driving the whole conversation. It’s damn annoying is what it is. *sigh*

Do you guys have this problem, too? Or do I just totally suck? HOW DO I FIX THIS?


Written by ditheringmiss

August 25, 2009 at 9:41 pm