I don't know which way to go. Any advice?

Archive for March 2011

One time, at band camp

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You know how when someone tells a really boring story, and about 30 seconds in, you’re simultaneously thinking about what you’re going to eat next and how you can make an escape? Only you totally don’t. Instead, you nod along since you don’t want to be the rude son-of-a-B that you are inside. Am I right?

Well, I live in perpetual fear of invoking the afore-mentioned reaction in others. When I see it — distracted glances around the room, soulless eyes, ill-timed “uh huhs” — I immediately kill my story. “Once upon a time — oh yup, there’s a yawn, okay. The end.”

I’ve become more and more aware of this phenomenon. Not because my own anecdotes are getting more boring (certainly not!), but because now that I’m looking out for it I realize just how often I listen to other people’s crap stories. Noteworthy observations:

  1. The older a person is, the more likely they’ll bore (It’s ageist, but true). Typically it’s because it’s the same story being retold for the umpteenth time.
  2. The more I like you, the less likely you are to lose my interest, even if in relative terms whatever you’re saying is actually really boring.
  3. If you’re just talking to toot your own horn, I won’t care. End of story.
  4. If what you’re saying involves a. pain b. humiliation c. a tragedy, it’s far more likely to intrigue than something happy. Suffering is just more interesting.
  5. But if you start complaining about stuff that’s totally not whine-worthy, eyes will glazeth over.
  6. Okay, fine, the happy stuff can be good, but please see point 3.
  7. Finally: Everything is more interesting with alcohol.

What bores the crap out of you?


Written by ditheringmiss

March 10, 2011 at 11:00 pm

Posted in Thoughts

Doing what I wanna do

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I don’t if you’ve heard, but blogs are supposed to do one thing really well. ie. talk about how rockin’ awesome and exhausting it is to be a mom (in case you didn’t know!) or feature photos of drool-worthy food that you’ll probably never cook or keep readers abreast of all the latest and greatest in fashion, politics, Charlie Sheen’s mad ramblings, fill-in-the-blank.

I’ve never been good at defining my blogging interests like that, and it’s made me feel sort of bad about myself.

But then I was like, screw this. Why do I care if my blog fits into a mold? Who the hell made the rules and why am I following them? I mean I’m lucky if my own mom even reads the darn thing.  Why can’t I just do what I want to do? (Watch 40 second video below for apt visual representation.)

So that’s what I’m doing. Kick me off the plane if you must, but I’m not letting go of my bag.

Consider yourself warned.

Written by ditheringmiss

March 10, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Posted in Thoughts

Taking the long way

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Right now, I should be writing the proposal for what could be my last-ever academic paper. And yet. I suppose I’ve been hoping that a topic idea would come to me, but alas, I’ve now managed to leave things undone until the bitter end without so much as a drop of inspiration. Art mimics life, no?

When you do nothing, just waiting for that nameless thing to happen to you, well, nothing happens. At least not to me. Here’s what I know: It’s all too easy to float along. It’s all too easy to be swallowed by the minutiae of each day. It’s all too easy to forget what your point is. It’s all too easy to be mean, uninformed, selfish, hate-filled.

Yesterday my mom said, “A good life is not necessarily an easy one.” So what’s my point? It’s time to a. start taking risks and b. stop worrying so much about what other people think. I hope I don’t offend you.

What’s your point?

photo via The Infamous Gdub

Written by ditheringmiss

March 9, 2011 at 5:26 pm

Posted in Changes, Thoughts