I don't know which way to go. Any advice?

Uncertainty and Chocolate

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I’ve been patting myself on the back a lot the last few months, telling myself how I’ve embraced challenge and defeated it with a positive attitude. I’ve been so proud of my introspective aptitude that I conveniently forgot that there would come a day when I might actually have to apply my “inner growth” to reality.

Just the idea of this scares me, which I think means that I’m far less zen than I’ve been touting. I feel just as confused and uncertain as ever. In other words, nothing’s changed.

But even though I can’t stop old fears from surfacing, I’m able to recognize them now as pointless. Yes, I’ve been repeating mantras about the waste of worrying, but whatever, it helps, a little.

I’m drinking hot chocolate now, and that helps, too. It’s nearly impossible for me to go a day without chocolate. It’s true. Oh wow, I just thought about whipped cream. I’m already feeling better. (Yes, I eat away my emotions. It feels good.)

Update:  I’m chasing my hot chocolate with wine. Mike just handed me a glass. He said I should rename the post “Hot Chocolate and Wine.” Things are looking up.



Written by ditheringmiss

September 17, 2009 at 9:51 pm

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