I don't know which way to go. Any advice?

Summer Cold

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There’s something about having a cold in the middle of August that is so completely offensive. I wanna be like, “Oh no you di’int world.” Along with a few finger snaps for good measure.

But the cold is really my own doing.

Do you ever feel like you bring on your illnesses? I”m sure I do.


I woke, the Saturday before last, to an achy throat. It wasn’t quite a sore throat, but I had the sensation I’d been screaming for hours. It felt rubbed raw. The problem was, I may have been screaming for hours, in the bar the night before. I brushed it off as this, the result of a too late night involving too much alcohol.

The next day it was not quite right, but also very near better. And then it was gone.

On Wednesday night things were going swimmingly, until my mom called to tell me that the dog was sick. Not near death, just sick. I felt like the wind got knocked out of me. I felt something dark settle around the edges. I felt unwell and like there was nothing I could do about it. I knew it.

The next morning, Thursday, my throat was doomed. I could tell by the bitter taste in my mouth; the lining stung when I swallowed. So I was sick. I’d let it catch up to me. The problem was, the bad feeling, it wasn’t gone. I tried to shake it up by going up to the lake as planned.

But it lingered. So I knew things would get worse. And they did. For me, and the dog.

I am not so superstitious and ridiculous to believe that if I could have pushed away the dark cloud, I could have saved Kitty or even my throat. But I have a knack for catching a host of bad vibes. I can even recognize it now, like I did on Wednesday night.

It means: nothing good is about to happen.

But eventually the anxious weight in my chest lifts. It always passes.

In the meantime, I have an excuse to sit on the couch and read and look dreamy and nap and drink honey tea. The weather is cooperating: grey and dreary. There’s not much worse than staring out your window at a beautiful sunny day when you’re not up to enjoying it.



Written by ditheringmiss

August 17, 2009 at 6:17 pm

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