I don't know which way to go. Any advice?


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It seems to me that all the couples I know are either getting engaged or breaking up. (According to my mom, that’s what couples do in their twenties.) I am doing neither, but I find myself oddly affected by it all.

On Sunday I learned that my a friend from college—one whom I’ve had long conversations with regarding marriage and how she wasn’t sure it was something she ever wanted—got engaged. I was shocked. And though I wanted to ask her what the hell had changed, instead I just offered my congratulations.

This isn’t the first time news of an engagement has left me lost in thought. Mike teases me. He thinks it’s so strange that I should be left contemplating my own life just because something has changed in someone else’s. Perhaps that’s true.

Later that same day, Mike got word that one of his closest friends had been dumped by his long term, live-in girlfriend with practically no explanation. Since we’ve known them since the first days of their relationship, five years ago, the whole thing caught us both off guard. However, it’s clear to me that while it may have been a surprise to him, this was something she’d probably been thinking about for a long while. That is to say, I was not so surprised that things had gone in this direction for them.

So there we were, Mike and I, trying to draw conclusions from these strange fluctuations. How can so much change in such a short period of time, we both wondered. We are not a couple that moves quickly. We are very rational. Mike is indecisive; I’m inconclusive. We often leave conversations about the future unfinished for months at a time.

It’s nothing new for me, but this is the first time I’ve ever seen a change in his friend’s life really uproot him. Isn’t it a funny thing the way other people’s lives can put your own in perspective? It’s both good and bad, I think.

I gave him a pat on the back.

“Welcome,” I said.


Written by ditheringmiss

July 30, 2009 at 9:00 am

Posted in Changes, Friends, Life, Thoughts

Tagged with ,

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